Dumb Criminals: Arson

The Internet is such a marvelous tool. It’s done some wonderful things for humanity in its time. Its given us access to more pornography than we could ever imagine. Its boosted the Nigerian economy. Its saved thousands of dollars in police departments’ budgets by giving dumb criminals a place to brag about their crimes to the world.

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My parents always told me growing up, “Do what you love and the money will follow.” Then the Beatles told me you “Can’t Buy Me Love.” Now I’m as confused as this fella.

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MySpace has become another one of those Internet fads that poses a use and a danger to our nation’s youth. On the one hand, it allows thousands of people to communicate with each other with the click of the mouse. It also presents a risk by leaving kids’ and teenagers’ lives open to people who wish to do them harm. But here’s one important use we might not have considered in this crazy, kooky world - it helps us weed out the dumbasses.

ROCKVILLE, Md. (Star Tribune) — Two teenagers were charged with setting fires in suburban Washington after they bragged about the blazes on MySpace.com, authorities said.

The 17-year-old schoolmates were involved in 17 fires in Montgomery County, fire officials said Friday. The teens face 22 charges, including two counts each of first-degree arson and four counts of second-degree arson.

Their names were not released because they were charged as juveniles.

Stores, vehicles, a bowling alley and two school buses were set on fire between Jan. 20 and April 16. Investigators got a tip to check out the online social networking site MySpace.com, where they found photos and descriptions.

They posted photos of their crimes. The only way they could have been dumber is if they posted routes to the scenes of the crimes from their houses on Mapquest, sold pieces of the burned debris on eBay and written songs about it and distributed them illegally on Napster.

They even wrote about the arsons in their MySpace blogs. Wait, I’m sorry, that’s dumber.

Both of the teens are in custody at a juvenile detention center, and because of their ages, their names were not released. Of course, I’m sure both of the boys are begging police to release their names.