And It’s Not Even Thanksgiving Yet
Monday, November 21st, 2011 • Filed under Burglaries • Comment
As a kid, my belief in Santa Claus was always challenged by wondering why he couldn’t just go through the front door. Not to mention my concern for the kids who didn’t have chimneys. But why would a guy who can fly around the world with millions of gifts in one night have to adhere to conventional entrances?
Make Yourself At Home
Monday, September 5th, 2011 • Filed under Burglaries • 2 Comments
Being a host is so stressful. First, you have to clean your house to the point of hiding any evidence of actual humans living there. Next, you need to spend time preparing a bunch of unhealthy food that your female guests probably won’t even look at, because it contains the deadly disease known as calories.
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Fish ‘N Chips
Monday, July 11th, 2011 • Filed under Burglaries, Caught on tape • Comment
Some crimes sound a little too dumb to be true. Like, something from a Disney Channel show. Except criminal activity involves prisons and money instead of hideous outfits and even worse acting….
According to Local 12, this man in Cincinnati isn’t exactly main character material. He broke into a potato chip plant, and proceeded to steal a computer disk, vehicle titles, a whole book of payroll checks, and other business papers. He then left a note for the company president demanding that $22,000 be left in a bucket for him, or else he would “expose personal matters of employees” and burn everything he had stolen. The president called the police, of course, who set up a bucket filled with convincingly fake cash, as well as surveillance material. They spotted the crook dragging the bucket away with a fishing pole…and arrested him in the forest, all tangled up in the fishing line. Aaaand…scene!
I’m High On…Your Pets
Wednesday, June 22nd, 2011 • Filed under Burglaries, Drugs, Robberies • 1 Comment
At some point in everyone’s life, I’m sure something will happen that will render them completely speechless. Like, they are at a total loss for words to describe the stupidity/strangeness/gross-ness/confusion that just took place. I imagine teachers feel this way a lot…
According to CNN, a young robbery crew in had cleared a house out all out of electronics and jewelry. But they also unknowingly took with them the cremated ashes of the owner’s father and their two dead dogs. Thinking it was cocaine, the five teens began to excitedly snort the ashes. Upon realizing what it actually was, they dumped the remains of the remains into a nearby lake and were later arrested. Kind of a twist on the whole cannibal thing, huh?
Your Mom
Wednesday, June 22nd, 2011 • Filed under Burglaries, Robberies • Comment
It’s kind of awesome (but a little scary) when you suddenly realize that your parents won’t always be around. Like, there’s nobody to stop you from wearing shorts in the middle of January. Then again, there’s nobody to put ‘em in the laundry for you. So you might be stuck wearing those same shorts throughout all four seasons anyway.
But these three Louisiana guys haven’t quite grown up yet, either. They had been robbing a house one afternoon, and everything was going according to plan…until the youngest one (16 years old) got stuck in the attic. Panicked, he immediately called his mother to inform her of his situation. But according to WAFB, it was actually a neighbor who alerted the police of the break-in. Looks like someone’s grounded…
“Like” This?
Saturday, April 23rd, 2011 • Filed under Burglaries • 4 Comments
Confession time! Like many others on the planet, I am a self-proclaimed Facebook addict. However, I’m (somewhat) careful to (usually) not let it interfere (much) with the other things I’m (sorta) supposed to do. But unlike me…this guy needs some SERIOUS help with his obsession.
Down The Toilet…With the Rest of Your Criminal Career
Friday, March 18th, 2011 • Filed under Burglaries • 3 Comments
Germs…yuck. Although I’m sure you’re not the kind of person who shrieks themselves into some kind of unconscious state of perpetual shock when your friend horks down a potato chip that he dropped on the kitchen floor about three and a half seconds ago, you’ve gotta agree that a few events still deserve a bit of Ew Cred.
“It’s Coming From INSIDE THE HOUSE!”
Tuesday, March 15th, 2011 • Filed under Burglaries, Robberies • 14 Comments
Is it just me, or has technology grown to be the most important thing EVER to exist? Today, you can’t even buy a pencil sharpener that doesn’t enable you to update your Facebook status from it. Phones, of course, have become an even bigger problem. Check out UPI for even more details.