Dumb Criminals

Fish ‘N Chips

Monday, July 11th, 2011 • Filed under Burglaries, Caught on tape

Some crimes sound a little too dumb to be true. Like, something from a Disney Channel show. Except criminal activity involves prisons and money instead of hideous outfits and even worse acting….

According to Local 12, this man in Cincinnati isn’t exactly main character material.  He broke into a potato chip plant, and proceeded to steal a computer disk, vehicle titles, a whole book of payroll checks, and other business papers. He then left a note for the company president demanding that $22,000 be left in a bucket for him, or else he would “expose personal matters of employees” and burn everything he had stolen. The president called the police, of course, who set up a bucket filled with convincingly fake cash, as well as surveillance material. They spotted the crook dragging the bucket away with a fishing pole…and arrested him in the forest, all tangled up in the fishing line. Aaaand…scene!

 

I’m High On…Your Pets

Wednesday, June 22nd, 2011 • Filed under Burglaries, Drugs, Robberies

At some point in everyone’s life, I’m sure something will happen that will render them completely speechless. Like, they are at a total loss for words to describe the stupidity/strangeness/gross-ness/confusion that just took place. I imagine teachers feel this way a lot…

According to CNN, a young robbery crew in had cleared a house out all out of electronics and jewelry. But they also unknowingly took with them the cremated ashes of the owner’s father and their two dead dogs. Thinking it was cocaine, the five teens began to excitedly snort the ashes. Upon realizing what it actually was, they dumped the remains of the remains into a nearby lake and were later arrested. Kind of a twist on the whole cannibal thing, huh?

Your Mom

Wednesday, June 22nd, 2011 • Filed under Burglaries, Robberies

It’s kind of awesome (but a little scary) when you suddenly realize that your parents won’t always be around. Like, there’s nobody to stop you from wearing shorts in the middle of January. Then again, there’s nobody to put ‘em in the laundry for you. So you might be stuck wearing those same shorts throughout all four seasons anyway.

But these three Louisiana guys haven’t quite grown up yet, either. They had been robbing a house one afternoon, and everything was going according to plan…until the youngest one (16 years old) got stuck in the attic. Panicked, he immediately called his mother to inform her of his situation. But according to WAFB, it was actually a neighbor who alerted the police of the break-in. Looks like someone’s grounded…

“Like” This?

Saturday, April 23rd, 2011 • Filed under Burglaries

Confession time! Like many others on the planet, I am a self-proclaimed Facebook addict. However, I’m (somewhat) careful to (usually) not let it interfere (much) with the other things I’m (sorta) supposed to do. But unlike me…this guy needs some SERIOUS help with his obsession.


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Down The Toilet…With the Rest of Your Criminal Career

Friday, March 18th, 2011 • Filed under Burglaries

Germs…yuck. Although I’m sure you’re not the kind of person who shrieks themselves into some kind of unconscious state of perpetual shock when your friend horks down a potato chip that he dropped on the kitchen floor about three and a half seconds ago, you’ve gotta agree that a few events still deserve a bit of Ew Cred.


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“It’s Coming From INSIDE THE HOUSE!”

Tuesday, March 15th, 2011 • Filed under Burglaries, Robberies

Is it just me, or has technology grown to be the most important thing EVER to exist? Today, you can’t even buy a pencil sharpener that doesn’t enable you to update your Facebook status from it. Phones, of course, have become an even bigger problem. Check out UPI for even more details.


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The Ghosts of Dumb Crimes Present

Friday, December 24th, 2010 • Filed under Burglaries, Caught on tape

There is no end to the stupidity and recklessness of teenage boys. Time has seen it all; from George Washington hacking away at his father’s precious fruit-bearing plant, to Bart Simpson’s many acts of town vandalism. However, this story from Spy Gadgets may have topped the charts.


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And Now…Tampons!

Monday, November 2nd, 2009 • Filed under At-Large, Burglaries, Theft

I can’t fathom a reason why someone out there would want to steal a two ton shipment of feminine hygiene products and maybe I just really don’t want to because I like sleeping without waking up screaming.

A woman or (even weirder) possibly a man stole more than a half a million worth of different feminine products from sanitary napkins to tampons, according to The Cabin.

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