Dumb Criminals

God’s Watching The Apples

Friday, June 24th, 2011 • Filed under Caught on tape, Theft

Sometimes, little kids are right about things…for example, church really IS boring. I mean, you have to sit there and be quiet for a whole hour, and you’re not even watching a movie. Most of the time, the walls and surrounding people suddenly become the most fascinating objects ever to grace your vision, and you’re eventually too preoccupied with such wonders to even listen to what the speaker is going on about.

But at least, in these sort of places, crime is few and far between…unless you’re at this one particular mass. While the rest of the congregation was up receiving communion, a woman was seen (by security cameras) rifling through another woman’s purse. She then got up and left soon after finding what she wanted. According to Houston Press, stealing things in this fashion is surprisingly a habit of hers. So if you find that your credit card had disappeared during church, it’s probably not quite a divine miracle.

I’m Watching You….No, Like, Really, I Am

Tuesday, June 7th, 2011 • Filed under Caught on tape, Robberies

You know what’s a major bummer? When the thing you’re stealing tells on you. And apparently, that doesn’t happen just in kidnapping cases.

According to ListVerse, two burglars in Texas decided it would be a brilliant idea to rob a store that sells security cameras. Yup, they were trying to obtain the exact thing that criminals are generally always supposed to stay away from. So basically, it could only go downhill from there. The 17 functioning security cameras in the store caught them in the act of stuffing over ten thousand dollars’ worth of surveillance equipment into some garbage cans. The one mildly impressive thing about this case is that the two men managed to do all that in about a minute and 15 seconds. But that doesn’t make up for the fact that, even though there was one part of the film with their license plate clearly visible (which allowed the police to track their names), they still pled “not guilty” in court.

“Streaming, Flaxen, Waxen”

Saturday, May 7th, 2011 • Filed under Caught on tape, Robberies

Throughout the entirely too large number of incidents involving failed robberies, people have stolen some REALLY weird things. I mean, what can you do with half of a human head, or a giant inflatable chicken? And believe it or not, those are actual occurrences. (So that’s where my Christmas decorations went.)

But it gets grosser…according to CBS, a group of crooks robbed a hair salon and stole thousands of weaves. And for those of you who don’t know, weaves are actual human hair sewn up to make extensions for other people. Security cameras had caught the thieves completely ignoring the cash register, and making away with loads of the most expensive of these things. Well, now we know what San Francisco could possibly change its currency to…

So, Exactly What Kind of Business Was He Running?

Tuesday, April 19th, 2011 • Filed under Cars, Caught on tape, Robberies

Don’t you wish it was easier to get that special someone’s number? No more cheesy pick-up lines, excuses about school projects, or hands covered in smudged, undecipherable ink…it would be SO much better if that hottie from science just drove a van with his phone number plastered hugely on the side.

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No, That Was My Identical Twin!

Friday, February 18th, 2011 • Filed under Caught on tape, Robberies

If you’re a big-time Spiderman junkie, you’re probably familiar with the underrated super villain known as Mysterio. Although he hasn’t appeared in any of the movies, this guy’s got quite a back story. Not to mention killer skills. Like the time he duplicated himself in attempt to surround and confuse our beloved web-slinging hero.

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YouTube Sensation…NOT

Tuesday, February 15th, 2011 • Filed under Cars, Caught on tape

Isn’t the whole point of breaking the law trying to keep it somewhat secret? On the DL, incognito, under wraps, surreptitious, discreet? Call it what you will, but posting something on the World Wide Web is NOT a way to preserve its confidentiality.

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The Ghosts of Dumb Crimes Present

Friday, December 24th, 2010 • Filed under Burglaries, Caught on tape

There is no end to the stupidity and recklessness of teenage boys. Time has seen it all; from George Washington hacking away at his father’s precious fruit-bearing plant, to Bart Simpson’s many acts of town vandalism. However, this story from Spy Gadgets may have topped the charts.

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How Not to Break Down a Door

Monday, April 6th, 2009 • Filed under Burglaries, Caught on tape

First of all, a key works a lot better than your head. That’s a lesson I learned from experience.

Another burglar learned the same lesson when they tried to bum rush a locked door and hurt themselves in the process, according to the St. Petersburg Times.

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