Dumb Criminals: Con-artists

This story deserves quite possibly the biggest Nelson Muntz laugh since that time in the fifth grade when Yunni Lee tried to chug his milk at lunch and laughed real hard and when nothing came out his nose, he started crying skim. So all together now, real loud. Lemme here ya (big breath)…HA HA!

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Remember the woman in California who faked finding a severed human finger in her chili at Wendy’s? I wonder whatever happened to her? (insert harp flashback music and blur)…

SAN JOSE, California (Reuters) - A couple [Anna Ayala and Jaime Plascencia] who planted a human finger in a bowl of chili at a Wendy’s fast food restaurant was sentenced in California on Wednesday to nine years in prison.

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Davila also ordered the couple to pay almost $22 million in restitution but Wendy’s officials indicated to the court they would only seek to collect approximately $170,000, representing the wages lost by employees at the San Jose restaurant where working hours were cut back after a downturn in business.

These “Love Connection” rejects made everyone believe for a solid month that the finger was real before investigators announced it was a fraud. Even though Wendy’s was vindicated, the fingering caused the sharpest decline in their third quarter profits since their deal with Disney to rename the hamburgers in their Kids’ Meal “mouseburgers.”

The judge showed the press just how hooked he was on phonics by saying..

“Greed and avarice overtook this couple and they lost their moral compass,” Judge Edward Davila said of Anna Ayala and her husband Jaime Plascencia in handing down the nine-year sentence.

Wow, nine years in prison for a finger? Even Michael Jackson didn’t even face
nine years for using his finger to…never mind.