Dumb Criminals

Bathroom Dreams

Wednesday, May 7th, 2014 • Filed under Break-Ins, Corrupt Cops

Have you ever had the dreams where you just REALLY need to urinate? But you can’t find a single viable bathroom? Maybe the public bathroom is on a stage, or maybe it’s the worst toilet in Scotland. Unfortunately, this is a reality for some.

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This Is Nuts

Tuesday, October 22nd, 2013 • Filed under Corrupt Cops, Guns

Every neighborhood has pesky animals. In suburban Georgia, I only have to deal with rabbits and the occasional squirrel. In South America, there are spiders the size of rabbits and squirrels. In India, cobras and peacocks are just chilling alongside people. So why would a plain old squirrel be such a big deal?

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Hot Cops

Sunday, April 29th, 2012 • Filed under Corrupt Cops, Scams

Sometimes I wonder how people get the jobs they got. Like, who writes their 9th grade essay about a fulfilling future of organizing produce at Wal-Mart? Or showing people around a mattress store, trying to convince customers that every uniform rectangle of the same cotton is distinctly different? Hey, I guess someone has to do it…

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It’s Okay, We’re Authorized

Monday, August 15th, 2011 • Filed under Corrupt Cops, Drunks

Hypocrites just drive you nuts, don’t they? They’re almost as bad as actual hippos. Except nobody thinks to spend time filming 3-hour long TV specials detailing their feeding and mating habits. Of course, it would probably just be footage of a bunch of things you aren’t supposed to do.

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If This Van’s a Smokin’, Somebody’s Tokin’

Wednesday, August 19th, 2009 • Filed under Cars, Corrupt Cops, Drugs

You would think the police officer exams that are administered by departments would come with a common sense exam, but who the hell are we going to get to write it up? Heh, that was almost poetry.

Three cops were caught smoking pot in a police van, according to KGMB9.com.

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Jerk in the Box

Wednesday, July 22nd, 2009 • Filed under Corrupt Cops, Guns

Why would anyone eat fast food? Better yet, why would anyone want it faster? If it tastes that bad fast, imagine what it’s like when you’re doing a rush job of it.

One cop in Denver didn’t care how long it took evidenced by the gun he pulled on a clerk because they weren’t filling his order fast enough, according to the Denver Post.

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Not the Top Cop

Tuesday, July 7th, 2009 • Filed under Burglaries, Corrupt Cops

It’s always sad when a police officer breaks the law. The very people sworn to protect us from the tyranny of injustice becoming part of that tyranny brings a tear to my eye, unless they do something really stupid in the process of committing such a crime. Then it brings a tear to my funny bone.

A cop was charged with burglary when he was caught breaking into a neighbor’s home for his video game system, according to the Gwinnett Daily Post.

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Check, Check, Check the Police

Monday, July 6th, 2009 • Filed under Cars, Corrupt Cops, Drunks

Cops are people too! If you prick them, do they not bleed? If you tickle them, do they not laugh? If you fill them full of whiskey and vodka, do they not get drunk and then try to pull a fellow officer over who just pulled them over?

A reserve officer did just that, according to the Indianapolis Star.

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