Dumb Criminals

Cop with a Brain and a Half

Monday, March 2nd, 2009 • Filed under Corrupt Cops, Robberies

Making out a schedule of your day is important. It helps you keep your focus, stay on task and get things done in a timely manner. Sometimes, however, it’s important to read what you actually put down on paper before you execute it.

One guy committed a robbery and then went to a police station to sign up to be an officer, according to the AP.

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Not the Top Cop

Thursday, November 20th, 2008 • Filed under Cars, Corrupt Cops, Drunks

Once again, we don’t find anything remotely funny or amusing about drunk driving. It’s a rotten, selfish, horrible and sad fact of daily life that affects someone somewhere everyday. And I’ve just now realized I’ve made it impossible to write a joke in this entry.

Tokyo’s chief anti-drunk driving cop has been busted for drunk driving, according to Reuters.

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The Gouda, the Bree and the Ugly

Thursday, December 20th, 2007 • Filed under Corrupt Cops

Sing along with us everybody! Ohhhhh, weeeee, loooooooove, cheese! We think it’s really great! Oh we love cheese! We want some on our plate. We love any kind as long its cheese in liquid or solid form. If we don’t have our cheese, we’ll feel forlorn. So give us cheese or give us death, that’s what we said. Serve it to us so we can shove it in our head.

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Why Men Don’t Ask for Directions

Monday, May 22nd, 2006 • Filed under Corrupt Cops

Maryland apparently has their own brand of protecting and serving.

WBAL-TV 11 News I-Team reporter David Collins said Joshua Kelly and Llara Brook, of Chantilly, Va., got lost leaving an Orioles game on Saturday. Collins reported a city officer arrested them for trespassing on a public street while they were asking for directions .

“In jail for eight hours — sleeping on a concrete floor next to a toilet,” Kelly said.

[...]

Hopelessly lost, relief melted away concerns after they spotted a police vehicle.

“I said, ‘Thank goodness, could you please get us to 95?” Kelly said.

“The first thing that she said to us was no — you just ran that stop sign, pull over,” Brook said. “It wasn’t a big deal. We’ll pay the stop sign violation, but can we have directions?”

“What she said was ‘You found your own way in here, you can find your own way out.’” Kelly said.

Collins said the couple spotted another police vehicle and flagged that officer down for directions. But Officer Natalie Preston, a six-year veteran of the force, intervened.

“That really threw us for a loop when she stepped in between our cars,” Kelly said. “(She) said my partner is not going to step in front of me and tell you directions if I’m not.”

And adding insult to injury:

Collins said the couple was released from jail without being charged with anything…

Collins said police left Kelly’s car unlocked and the windows down at the impound lot. He reported a cell phone charger, pair of sunglasses and 20 CDs were stolen.

Baltimore City police said they are looking into the incident.

Welcome to Baltimore.

You Can’t Spell “Victoria’s Secret” Without C-I-A

Thursday, February 9th, 2006 • Filed under Corrupt Cops

I realize that by posting this story, I risk being put on the CIA’s “To Monitor List.” Hey, if the CIA wants to watch me sit around my apartment in my boxers while watching “Sledge Hammer!” on DVD and eating Cheez-Its, be my guest.

Washington (Washington Post) — Lori Meyer walked into her darkened McLean, Va., home one evening last month, her 8-month-old son, Samuel, in her arms, and found a strange man dashing down her stairs. As the intruder fled, Meyer ran outside, screaming, and flagged down a passing minivan.

Fairfax County, Va., police said Tuesday that the man that Meyer and the driver of the minivan cornered in a cul-de-sac that night, George C. Dalmas III, 44, works at the CIA. He’s now been charged with 17 burglaries in the McLean area. And in a search of his Falls Church home, police said, they found a stunning trove of cash, jewelry, antiques, license plates — and bags filled with more than 1,000 women’s undergarments.

Dalmas worked for the CIA (motto: we put the “legal” in “illegal wiretapping”) as a “midlevel administrative employee,” not as an agent or in any position where he could do any spying. So in the CIA’s defense, Dalmas didn’t abuse his power to go on a covert panty raid. President Bush, on the other hand…

Dalmas has been linked to at least 17 burglaries in the area, some of whom were fellow CIA employees that he most likely targeted because he knew when they would and would not be home. He also made off with some antique furniture and appliances. Hmmm, ladies clothes and antiques, sounds like a fiendish plot by the reincarnated soul of J. Edgar Hoover if you ask me.

Of course, once the news hit the stands, the White House and the CIA countered by blaming the whole thing on the press for leaking the truth to the public. How dare they.

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