Seems Legit
Saturday, January 28th, 2012 • Filed under Drugs, Forgery • Comment
Smart people get away with a lot of stuff. It’s always the genius who can goof off in class and the teacher barely notices. It’s only when things get illegal that the royal treatment ends…
An out-of-work doctor, with a personality disorder and mental condition, was caught forging prescriptions for himself. All 654 of them, according to Denver Westword Blogs. His life was slowly falling apart, and he ended up purchasing over 20,000 pills to feed his addiction. Feel free to giggle, laughter is the best medicine.
I Prefer Sue
Sunday, January 8th, 2012 • Filed under Drugs • 5 Comments
Sometimes I wonder what parents could possibly be thinking when naming their child. I joke about it all the time, but would I actually name my daughter Ella Vader? Or force my son to go through life being called Mike Hawke? No, of course not. That’s why we have pets.
Tastes Better With Salsa
Tuesday, January 3rd, 2012 • Filed under Drugs, Smugglers • Comment
So, Christmas break is just wrapping up (no pun intended), and that means no more piles of seasonal junk food. In fact, most of our New Year’s resolutions probably involve shedding all those cookies chillin’ out around our waistline. My point is, like they’ve been teaching you since elementary school “health class”, junk food is BAD for you.
Been A Pleasu–BAM!
Thursday, November 3rd, 2011 • Filed under Drugs, Murderers • 6 Comments
People are always weird about money, it seems. “Hey Jeff, can I borrow a dollar? I simply cannot survive another second without exposing my digestive system to this highly caffeinated and fattening beverage.” “Sorry, man.” “(insert look of complete and utter contempt)….it’s fine.”
I Might Even Have A Coupon
Sunday, October 23rd, 2011 • Filed under Drugs • 3 Comments
Some people advertise WAY too much. Yes, I know you’re a drummer, there’s no need to wear the same Rush t-shirt every day, and walk around banging lockers in a rhythmic (and VERY annoying) fashion. Girls are even worse…nobody wants a distinct view of your cleavage from across a crowded hallway.
Hey, I Have One Just Like That!
Wednesday, August 31st, 2011 • Filed under Drugs, Theft • Comment
Note to My Inner Criminal Self: There are some things you just DON’T steal. You’d have to be an idiot to try to make a getaway while lugging a grand piano out the door, as valuable as those things are. And you probably shouldn’t steal anyone’s identity, either. Especially if they’re a male…’cause their ego won’t fit through the door, either.
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I’m High On…Your Pets
Wednesday, June 22nd, 2011 • Filed under Burglaries, Drugs, Robberies • 1 Comment
At some point in everyone’s life, I’m sure something will happen that will render them completely speechless. Like, they are at a total loss for words to describe the stupidity/strangeness/gross-ness/confusion that just took place. I imagine teachers feel this way a lot…
According to CNN, a young robbery crew in had cleared a house out all out of electronics and jewelry. But they also unknowingly took with them the cremated ashes of the owner’s father and their two dead dogs. Thinking it was cocaine, the five teens began to excitedly snort the ashes. Upon realizing what it actually was, they dumped the remains of the remains into a nearby lake and were later arrested. Kind of a twist on the whole cannibal thing, huh?
The Family Business
Wednesday, June 22nd, 2011 • Filed under Drugs • Comment
Texting just really doesn’t get us anywhere, does it? Other than assisting fifth-graders in professing their undying love for one another, allowing us to become completely disconnected from our constantly harping family, or making plans to “c a moviee @ 3, kk?”…it’s generally an unproductive activity. Unless, of course, that fifth-grader is REALLY hot.
Like many recent drug deal attempts, this one owes its failure to a botched text message. A young man in Texas accidentally sent the details of the meeting to a constable, who arrived according to plan…except undercover, and with backup. Further investigation revealed that the man’s mother was in possession of a different drug as well. According to Fox News, they were both taken into custody. I guess bonding time doesn’t get much better than that!