Dumb Criminals

Driving While Inane

Wednesday, June 16th, 2010 • Filed under Cars, Drunks5 Comments

leftDrinking and driving is never funny, but I’m willing to make an exception in this case.

A man celebrating the end of his 20 year jail sentence for driving while intoxicated get busted for driving while intoxicated, according to the Associated Press.

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Missing Something? Other Than a Brain…

Monday, June 14th, 2010 • Filed under Cars, Drugs, Drunks8 Comments

No matter how many times this happens, it still never ceases to amaze me. Even if it happens more than once in a same emergency call.

A man who called police to report a theft including his pot in the list of missing items…and then it gets weird, according to the The Oregonian.

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Totally Trucked

Thursday, October 29th, 2009 • Filed under Cars, Drunks8 Comments

The key to avoiding trouble is identifying problems. If the first thought you have after getting wasted is “How am I going to get home?”, congrats. You’ve identified a problem.

A man driving drunk plowed his car into a fire truck, according to WBBM.com.

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Driving While Reclining

Monday, October 26th, 2009 • Filed under Drunks13 Comments

It’s amazing how many things police classify as a vehicle: golf carts, horses, living room recliners.

One man was arrested for a driving his La-Z-Boy under the influence, according to the Minneapolis Star Tribune.

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Man and Car on Fire

Tuesday, October 20th, 2009 • Filed under Cars, Drunks4 Comments

Drinking and driving is never a good idea. Drinking and driving a car that’s on fire should never even cross your mind. If it does, drinking won’t help make it go away.

Police arrested the driving of a flaming car with driving while intoxicated, according to the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review.

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Not Without My Pants

Friday, October 16th, 2009 • Filed under Drunks6 Comments

Say what you will about this turd in the gene pool. At least he has the balls to go without pants and his officer’s will admit to it, because he doesn’t have any pants.

A public drunkard was arrested for his lack of fashion sense, mainly his lack of pants, according to the Bangor Daily News.

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Jerk in the Box

Wednesday, October 14th, 2009 • Filed under Drunks17 Comments

No, don’t worry overweight America. This story isn’t about a fast food employee doing something disgusting to your meal that would get him fired, then re-hired just so they could fire him again before he’s arrested. Besides, there’s nothing a fast food worker could do to your burger that could make it worse for you than it already is.

A drunk driver drove his lawnmower to a Jack in the Box drive-thru, according to UPI.

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The Dumb People’s Court

Wednesday, September 30th, 2009 • Filed under Cars, Drugs, Drunks4 Comments

It’s never a good idea to piss off a court judge, especially by doing it before you’ve even entered their courtroom.

One man learned that lesson when he got busted for selling drugs while he was on his way to court on his pending drug charges, according to The Oregonian.

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