Daddy Drunkest
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There’s something to be said for a father who takes time out of his busy day to spend it with his son. In this case, the things that can be said are “reckless,” “dangerous,” “stupid” and, of course, “dumb.”
Dumb Criminals: Drunks
Napped in the Closet
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It’s a shame that alcohol makes some men do the most horrid, selfish and illegal things. If only alcohol had a better effect on the human body, like say, you have too few many beers, a shot of whiskey and a sniff of Jaegermeister and the alcohol in your brain mixes with your neurons and you black out. Then when you wake up you realize you’ve been working all night on a cure for cancer.
Mow It Like You Stole It
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Only in West Virginia could a man on a riding lawnmower score so much ink in the local paper. If it was in the drive-thru of a Kentucky Fried Chicken during the annual Corn Festival, it would have pushed the Korean peace treaty right off of its lofty spot on the front page.
Friends Don’t Let Friends Drive Buggies Drunk
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I knew for a long, long time that these people were up to no good, but I didn’t say anything before because I didn’t want to seem racist or accusatory or even crazy. But now I’ve got proof. Who are these people, you ask a computer screen you retarded reader?
Cop Stop
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What’s dumber than driving drunk? Not much. Not only do you have to be retarded to attempt to drink and drive, but the dumbing effects of alcohol can bring your brain to a level of dumbness that even a Uwe Boll movie can’t bring it down to. This guy manages to get even lower.
Drink and Drive-Thru
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What’s dumber than getting pulled over for drunk driving? Getting pulled over for drunk driving while you’re in a McDonald’s drive-thru. What’s dumber than getting pulled over for drunk driving while you’re in a McDonald’s drive-thru? You got me there.
Win, Lose or Drink
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I’m not exaggerating when I say I love beer. I love everything about it. I love the way it tastes, the way it smells, the way when you crack one open, some mist slowly pours out of the top like a genie is coming out of it. If beer were a woman, I’d marry one since she wouldn’t mind me putting my mouth on her all the time and she’s always be drunk. But even I have my limits.
Double DUI
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The worst thing you can do is repeat yourself. The worst thing you can do is repeat yourself. The worst thing you can do is repeat yourself. The worst thing you can do is repeat yourself. The worst thing you can do is repeat yourself. The worst thing you can do is repeat yourself. Ok they get the message…
