Dumb Criminals

How Not To Throw A Party

Sunday, May 5th, 2013 • Filed under Embezzlers

Don’t suck-ups suck? “Mrs. Brown, I really like your shirt today.” “Here Coach, my mom made some cookies for you.” Goodness, make friends with people your own age please. Unless you’re only nice to people who can give you something back? Here’s a case of sucking up gone wrong.

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He Puts the “VP” in “Very Stupid”

Friday, January 9th, 2009 • Filed under Embezzlers

In these hard, trying economic times, it’s not very comforting to know that someone of the people who put us in this mess might be the ones who profit most from it. At least we can take a small bit of comfort knowing that some of these golden parachutes will have a hole or two in them.

DailyTech.com reports that one company executive got busted for embezzlement when he left the evidence sitting on his desk for all of the world to see.

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Nigeria Attacks Michigan

Tuesday, January 23rd, 2007 • Filed under Embezzlers

Here’s an embezzlement case that when I read it, literally, made my eyes pop out of my head. I’m thinking about suing the Detroit Free Press for causing said eye popage, but that might be a job for Dumb Lawsuits.com.

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Take the Money and Run, Then Take It Again, Then…

Thursday, January 26th, 2006 • Filed under Embezzlers, Other

Unlike most of our dumb criminals, at least this one is trying to make things right even if she’s going about all wrong.

COLUMBIA, S.C. — A Greenville woman who admitted she was stealing money in part to pay restitution in two previous embezzlement cases was sentenced to 12 years in prison Wednesday.

Ramona Obera Tucker, 52, was the office manager of a local business. She would take company checks meant to pay invoices, obtain a certified check from Bank of America, then convert those checks to her own use, U.S. Attorney Johnny Gasser said in a news release.

Tucker got the book thrown at her head twice in 1997 and 1998 for (can anyone guess?) embezzlement and now, she was caught embezzling again to pay back restitution for embezzling the first time. On the one hand, I’m glad this woman is getting time in the pokey. But on the other, I really feel sorry for her. How can she not use the gift of embezzling that God gave her?

The Judge said he gave Tucker such a hard sentence to protect any other businesses from becoming the victim of a repeat offender. Plus, if she hooks up with Kenneth Lay and Andrew Skilling on the street, they could combine their superpowers of embezzling to drain the world of all of its money.

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