Dumb Criminals

The Balloon Drops

Wednesday, November 4th, 2009 • Filed under Fraud3 Comments

Sure the rest of the world already knows about this, but this fell under our radar here at DCHQ because other more pressing news. And considering that we usually deal with drunks committing felonies, you can probably imagine how far down the radar this story falls.

The Associated Press reports that the parents of the infamous “Balloon Boy” will face some kind of criminal charges.

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Brain Spill on Aisle 4

Tuesday, September 8th, 2009 • Filed under Fraud, Theft3 Comments

Going to the grocery ain’t exactly a bowl of fabric softener either.

Just take this woman who committed credit card fraud and got snagged because she used her grocery discount card at the same time, according to the News & Advance.

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Return to Stupid

Wednesday, May 6th, 2009 • Filed under Forgery, Fraud, TheftComment

It’s amazing we still have mail in this day and age of rampant technology and lightning fast communication. It’s still a necessary and vital part of all societies. For instance, it helps weed out the morons and we’re not just talking about the people who work for the Postal Service.

A man who stole some cell phones got caught when he used an FBI office address on the mailing address, according to the AP.

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Noteworthless

Wednesday, April 29th, 2009 • Filed under Fraud, TheftComment

Post-It Notes are a great invention, aren’t they? They allow you to leave helpful reminders anywhere you work. They provide a quick place to jot down a phone number or some notes. They provide police with information on identity theft.

A government employee who stole identities from their job left their identities on Post-It notes all around his home, according to the New York Daily News.

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Unchecked

Tuesday, March 31st, 2009 • Filed under Drugs, Fraud2 Comments

If you’re going to commit check fraud, don’t. That’s probably the most sound advice I have ever given to humanity.

A woman in Cincinnati was arrested for trying to pass some bad checks at a credit union for police officers, according to the Cincinnati Enquirer.

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A Jackpot Crackpot

Monday, May 12th, 2008 • Filed under Forgery, Fraud11 Comments

The level of some people’s intelligence astounds me, but the only thing that astounds me more is the intelligence people have when it comes to how low they think other people’s intelligence is as well. Don’t drag us down to your evolutionary level.

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Glass-holes

Thursday, August 16th, 2007 • Filed under Fraud3 Comments

There’s dumb criminals and then there’s dumb criminals and when I said dumb the second time, I said it with a really long first syllable with a face that looks like someone dropped a safe on my foot. That kind of dumb.

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Pennies from Heaven

Saturday, March 3rd, 2007 • Filed under Fraud8 Comments

Are you there God? It’s me, Margaret. I’m from Bank of America. I’ve just received this check endorsed to you and I’m going to need to verify your signature. Can you give me a social security number and date of birth, please?

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