Dumb Criminals

Return to Stupid

Wednesday, May 6th, 2009 • Filed under Forgery, Fraud, Theft

It’s amazing we still have mail in this day and age of rampant technology and lightning fast communication. It’s still a necessary and vital part of all societies. For instance, it helps weed out the morons and we’re not just talking about the people who work for the Postal Service.

A man who stole some cell phones got caught when he used an FBI office address on the mailing address, according to the AP.

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Noteworthless

Wednesday, April 29th, 2009 • Filed under Fraud, Theft

Post-It Notes are a great invention, aren’t they? They allow you to leave helpful reminders anywhere you work. They provide a quick place to jot down a phone number or some notes. They provide police with information on identity theft.

A government employee who stole identities from their job left their identities on Post-It notes all around his home, according to the New York Daily News.

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Unchecked

Tuesday, March 31st, 2009 • Filed under Drugs, Fraud

If you’re going to commit check fraud, don’t. That’s probably the most sound advice I have ever given to humanity.

A woman in Cincinnati was arrested for trying to pass some bad checks at a credit union for police officers, according to the Cincinnati Enquirer.

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A Jackpot Crackpot

Monday, May 12th, 2008 • Filed under Forgery, Fraud

The level of some people’s intelligence astounds me, but the only thing that astounds me more is the intelligence people have when it comes to how low they think other people’s intelligence is as well. Don’t drag us down to your evolutionary level.

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Glass-holes

Thursday, August 16th, 2007 • Filed under Fraud

There’s dumb criminals and then there’s dumb criminals and when I said dumb the second time, I said it with a really long first syllable with a face that looks like someone dropped a safe on my foot. That kind of dumb.

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Pennies from Heaven

Saturday, March 3rd, 2007 • Filed under Fraud

Are you there God? It’s me, Margaret. I’m from Bank of America. I’ve just received this check endorsed to you and I’m going to need to verify your signature. Can you give me a social security number and date of birth, please?

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Check Wreck

Monday, July 17th, 2006 • Filed under Forgery, Fraud

Alexis Solis of Anytown U.S.A. send us this tale of treachery by three people who thought they could get away with check fraud by stealing a bank teller’s checkbook and then cashing the checks where the teller worked.

SYLVESTER, Ga. (WSB) — Three people accused of stealing checks in Worth County went to the wrong bank to cash them.

Joyce Powell is a clerk at the Sylvester Banking Company and was at work when a co-worker in the drive-through window told her someone was trying to cash one of her personal checks.

Investigators say the three suspects had just broken into four homes in rural Worth County.

The bank employee stalled the suspects, telling the one presenting the check that he must show some sort of identification. Meanwhile, Powell checked with authorities and learned someone had broken into her house.

The suspects became suspicious and left. But 27-year-old Calvin Barfield had left his driver’s license and Social Security card at the bank. It didn’t take authorities long to track him to a motel in Albany.

Trying to cash the check of a bank teller at the bank where the teller works is about as dumb as you can get. In fact, trying to steal a 747 for the peanuts is only slightly smarter.

Of course, I’m sure these “Dillengers-of-the Year” nominees didn’t realize they were trying to pass those checks at the owner’s place of work. But leaving your IDs at the crime doesn’t make you brilliant either. Why not just leave a set of your fingerprints and a vial of fresh DNA with the teller too, OJ?

Funny Money

Wednesday, March 15th, 2006 • Filed under Forgery, Fraud, Scams

There’s a great line from the movie “Wall Street,” “The main thing about money…is that it makes you do things you don’t want to do.” Oliver Stone should have added, “and it don’t make you that much smarter either.”

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) – The counterfeit money looked good, but there was one flaw. There’s no such thing as a one billion dollar bill.

U.S. Customs agents in California said on Tuesday they had found 250 bogus billion dollar bills while investigating a man charged with currency smuggling.

Tekle Zigetta, 45, pleaded guilty to three federal counts of trying to bring cash, phoney bills and a fake $100,000 (57,000 pound) gold certificate into the United States in January.

A man tried to pass off a billion dollar bill as real? Doesn’t he know that Enron tried to do the same thing and look what happened to them?

I’ve never understood the logic of counterfeit money makes because they eventually get so greedy that they always get caught. This guy creates a billion dollar bill, and tries to use it? Who has change for a billion these days? I have a hard time finding change for the vending machine at the bus station.

And how do you trick someone into believing it’s real? The only way to make someone believing it’s truly the billion dollar bill, you’ll have to put George Steinbrenner’s face on it.

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