What Else Ya Got In There?
Saturday, January 14th, 2012 • Filed under Guns, Smugglers • 1 Comment
It’s amazing, all the things women can shove in their purses. Need a tissue? Here. Need an extra pair of socks? Here. Car low on gas? Here ya go. In need of some chicken pox vaccinations? They’re in here somewhere…
Okay, So Tell Us How You REALLY Feel
Thursday, May 19th, 2011 • Filed under Guns, Robberies • 2 Comments
So…we all know that embarrassing feeling when you accidentally text the wrong person, usually when saying something ABOUT that exact person. Or when you’re rolling your eyes and gossiping about how horrible Sydney’s eye shadow looks today or how her shoes are so totally knock-offs and her bag isn’t even from the spring collection…and it turns out she’s right behind you. (Note: I apologize if this is introduction is slightly gender-specific.)
Anyway, my point is that these kind of slip-of-the-tongue things are really embarrassing. And in some cases, may even get you in jail. According to Ranker.com, a middle-aged man convicted of robbing a convenience store decided to fire his lawyer and take charge of the case himself. During the store manager’s testimony, he jumped up, accused her of lying, and added the lovely and poetic phrase: “I should’ve blown your (expletive) head off!” Sources say he looked around nervously, and added “…if I’d been the one that was there.” The jury took about twenty minutes to convict him guilty, and the man ended up in jail. With a separate cell for his big mouth.
Please, Silence Your Handguns
Monday, April 11th, 2011 • Filed under Assaults, Guns • 5 Comments
Movie theaters aren’t always the most pleasant places on Earth. But if you can bear parting with ten of your hard-earned dollars for ONE ticket, and then five times that amount for a calorie-laden, sugar-spiked candy bar, then the frustration of the seating arrangements shouldn’t be too much of a disappointment. Would you prefer to sit next to the deafening popcorn-consuming machine, or the two world champions of tonsil hockey?
Guess She Just Couldn’t Nail The Tango…
Saturday, February 5th, 2011 • Filed under Drunks, Guns • 2 Comments
Everyone’s entitled to their own opinion. I have a feeling that this philosophy is nowhere near as prevalent anywhere else as it is in the wonderful world of American politics. But, if your opinions lead you to being arrested, maybe it’s time to adopt a new philosophy: sit down and shut up.
Mind If We Crash At Your Place?
Friday, January 21st, 2011 • Filed under Cars, Guns • 2 Comments
Car accidents are NEVER a good thing. Especially when you end up crashing right into the front door of the place you should definitely steer clear of. And no, sadly, this story doesn’t involve banana peels or red turtle shells.
A Poetic Lesson In Self-Control
Tuesday, December 21st, 2010 • Filed under Assaults, Drunks, Guns • 5 Comments
You can burst out laughing during church
During school, you’re allowed to cry
But learn to control AT LEAST your anger
Or you might end up like this dumb guy
Window Pains
Friday, November 6th, 2009 • Filed under Guns • 13 Comments
Normally, there is nothing funny about a deadly drive-by shooting, even if the plot is botched. Notice that I said normally.
An attempted drive-by shooting was stopped when the shooter forgot to roll down his window, according to CityPages.
Read more »
Under the Gun
Friday, October 2nd, 2009 • Filed under At-Large, Guns, Robberies • 9 Comments
You shouldn’t take what doesn’t belong to you, especially if you’re using it to take something that doesn’t belong to you.
A restaurant employee who wrestled a gun away from his attacker got the attacker pleading for him to give the gun back to him because it didn’t belong to him, according to WSOCTV.com.
Read more »