Astronut: A Special Report
Tuesday, February 6th, 2007 • Filed under Kidnappings • 3 Comments
This just in from Dumb Criminals Mission Control Headquarters located deep in the core of the Earth next to Stuckey’s #3,746. A NASA astronaut has been arrested for the attempted kidnapping of ANOTHER astronaut because they both were in love with ANOTHER astronaut. It’s too bad the liver spotted soul of Aaron Spelling isn’t still around or we’d have another Fox Night at the Movies masteripiece.
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Have a Happy Thanksgiving
Friday, November 24th, 2006 • Filed under Kidnappings • 12 Comments
On behalf of everyone here at Dumbcriminals.com, we hope you and those closest to you had a Happy Thanksgiving. And in honor of this momentous day, what Thanksgiving would be complete without a really big turkey! Here ya go…
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How not to get out of a date
Tuesday, November 1st, 2005 • Filed under Kidnappings • 2 Comments
A young woman met a man on the internet and decided she wanted to get on a plane to meet him in person. A the last minute she changed her mind and made a some rather stupid plans. To get out of meeting the man in person, the woman explained that she had been abducted. According to media reports the woman was supposed to fly to Kansas City to meet her new internet boyfriend. She never boarded the plane, but instead called the man and his mother to tell them that she had been abducted after landing in Kansas City. The woman was arrested after police conducted an expensive search for her. If the woman pleads guilty, prosecutors will ask for community service and restitution for the costs of the search, which is estimated to be over $10,000.
50%
Monday, May 9th, 2005 • Filed under Kidnappings • 1 Comment
Kidnappers abducted Gildo Santos near his factory in a suburb of Sao Paulo and demanded $690,000 for ransom. Santos, however, escaped. The next day, Santos got a phone call asking for $11,500 to defray the cost of the abduction. After negotiating a 50 percent reduction, Santos called police, when the abductors showed up to collect payment.
Wrong House
Monday, May 9th, 2005 • Filed under Kidnappings • 2 Comments
Two masked gunmen burst into a house wearing T-shirts marked police. They tied up a woman and two of her children with duct tape. They demanded to know where a “Joe” was. When the woman said he did not live there, the two said “Oops we have the wrong house.” In the back of the house, the woman’s other child had called the police. When the men walked outside, they were quickly arrested.
Out Of Gas
Monday, May 9th, 2005 • Filed under Kidnappings • 3 Comments
In Rochester a man runs out of gas, and is covered in blood. He flags down a police car. When the police come he starts running. The police search his car and find a dead, bloody body. They send helicopters out and find him at 3:13 AM in the morning.
Gluing Feet?
Monday, May 9th, 2005 • Filed under Kidnappings • 7 Comments
Some guy broke into a woman’s home and glued his foot to her face. They then had to drive to the hospital to have it surgically removed. He was of course arrested after the surgery was over.