Dumb Criminals: Other

It happened again. So many of these stories repeat themselves that one has to wonder if there isn’t some strange force in the universe that simply causes us to repeat things over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over…

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Mothers’ Day is just around the corner and we here DumbCriminals.com want to honor all the mothers out there by using this cruel, tragic and badly timed story to remind all of your ungrateful children who haven’t bought you a present yet that your mother can and will shoot in the leg with a BB gun anytime they want. Hey, she’s your Mom. What are you going to do? Shoot her in the leg with a BB gun? Yeah right, that will only make her angrier.

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There are some stories that make you question where humanity is headed and if were aren’t heading down in a spiral of stupidity and ignorance. Then there are stories that make you question if we’re already there.

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Identity theft has taken on a new form recently by arresting suspects using other names and personal information when they are charged at the scene of a crime. What’s in a name, though? Well in this case, it’s first degree murder and vehicular homicide.

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You notice over to the right that there are a list of categories in which we place these odd, humorous and sometimes utterly baffling stories about mankind’s lack of normal intelligence and its brief run-ins with the law. Well, we couldn’t put this story in one of those categories because we don’t have a page for it because even if it did happen like this man claims, I don’t want to know what the charge would be against the wombat.

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There’s evil and then there’s e-vil. The kind of evil that’s so evil you have to say it with an extra e, e-vil. We now owe Mike Myers $10 bucks. That’s just for one of his lesser known movies. You don’t want to know how much he charges for a “Yeah baby!” Oh shit.

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This just in from the Dumb Criminals Media Center located by the old Shakey’s Pizza on Route 94 in Canton, Ohio where the news is always guaranteed to come in three days late: New York Governor Eliot Spitzer has been outed as a payer of prostitutes.

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Who says that video games diminish human intelligence, lessen our capacity to think clearly and destroy the synapses in our mind turning us into nothing but mindless drooling zombies? The people who wrote this story.

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