I Call Patches to the Stand!
Monday, December 26th, 2011 • Filed under Other • Comment
I have a lot of sympathy for dogs. Not just the homeless ones you see in those super sad commercials, but the ones sitting at the kitchen table wearing sweaters. The ones who would probably love to be homeless for a day or two, just so they could act like…well, I don’t know, dogs.
Kids vs. Creeps
Sunday, December 11th, 2011 • Filed under Other • 1 Comment
A lot of people are just downright creepy. But it’s a good thing we have small children to protect us from them…right?
Livin’ In The Fridge
Saturday, November 26th, 2011 • Filed under Other, Other Weapons • Comment
It’s a pretty tough call between which is better, a puppy or a significant other. On one hand, a puppy won’t leave if you start to put on a few pounds, and they never argue about what to watch. Then again, it’s not like your dog can take you out to dinner and insist you’re the most beautiful woman in the world.
I Think I’ll Stick To Burger Time…
Saturday, November 12th, 2011 • Filed under Other • 5 Comments
One of the greatest mysteries presented over and over to the female population is that of…video games. Especially the violent, bloody, shoot-that-guy-over-there-and-that-guy-and-that-guy-and-THAT-guy kind.
“I Don’t Want To Cause No Fuss”
Sunday, October 9th, 2011 • Filed under Other • 1 Comment
Ever since early youth, I took great pleasure in making fun of adults behind their backs. And none were easier to trash-talk than bus drivers. They were always mean, fat, scary, overly Southern, fat, old, ugly, stupid, or fat. Never mind that they woke up before 5 am to safely drive hundreds of obnoxious and ungrateful kids back and forth to school every day…
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“It’s An Intimate Get-Together”
Tuesday, September 20th, 2011 • Filed under Other • Comment
Some people can throw some crazy parties, right? I’m talking food-throwing, radio-blasting, bottle-spinning madness. Personally, I have no problem throwing food and blasting music in the comfort and solitude of my own home…but at least going to parties means I’M not the one cleaning up afterwards.
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Mother-In-Training
Thursday, August 25th, 2011 • Filed under Other • 3 Comments
Babysitting is not a bad job, in terms of the perks. There’s the money, free food, and all the shows you’re not allowed to watch at home. That is, if you can keep the 6 year old from attacking the 4 year old and the 4 year old from attacking the dog and the dog from attacking the 6 year old.
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Well, THAT’S Not a Pick-Up Line
Friday, August 12th, 2011 • Filed under Other • 1 Comment
Some guys just won’t take no for an answer. Of course, it’s just your undeniably disarming attractiveness that’s to blame, but STILL. It’s not like you’d actually say yes to a marriage proposal from that creepy 7th grader you try to avoid during church…unless, of course, he had the ring. And could turn invisible with it.
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