Dumb Criminals

Hands Up, Order Up

Saturday, August 9th, 2014 • Filed under Robberies

You have what you consider your restaurant, right? You know, the one where the manager knows your name and the employees know your order. My boyfriend took me to his beloved bagel shop last month, and I remember a worker thrust a blueberry bagel into my hand (no napkins, no bag, nothing at all) and the manager walked around the dining area yelling Taxi Driver quotes.

Imagine if you loved a dining establishment so much that nothing could stop you from being a patron there. This is the case of a nearly 30 year old man in California who robbed an El Pollo Loco. A few hours after the committing the crime, he came back and attempted to order dinner. According to HP, the employees recognized him from the security footage of the robbery, as he hadn’t changed his outfit at all. Sounds like this is one crazy chicken.

Little Cheesey

Monday, January 20th, 2014 • Filed under Assaults, Robberies

People always say there’s no such thing as bad pizza, but Dominos takes that as a challenge. Nothing says “Italy” like cardboard-flavored crust topped with solidified yellow grease. Mmm…wanna go vegan yet?


Read more »

Meat A Loser

Tuesday, July 23rd, 2013 • Filed under Robberies

What do you guys think about sausage? I suppose it’s better than a hot dog, which in turn is better than bologna (which is basically giant hot dog slices?). And no matter what, it has to be better than Lunchables *shudder*.


Read more »

Piggy Bank Heist

Saturday, June 8th, 2013 • Filed under Robberies

Do you ever feel like you owe your parents? I mean, financially. They’ve paid for everything from diapers to summer camps to maybe even your wedding. Hopefully, if you’re a good kid (and I’m sure you are), you’ve already done the recompensing.


Read more »

They Shouted Never

Sunday, December 2nd, 2012 • Filed under Assaults, Other Weapons, Robberies

What’s the happiest instrument you can think of? Definitely not a Theremin. Maybe a sitar, or a didgeridoo? How about a glockenspiel? No, my guess would be a ukulele. However, this story may change your mind…


Read more »

Ghost Of The Town

Monday, November 5th, 2012 • Filed under Robberies

Boo! Happy late Halloween. In honor of the already-passed holiday, allow me to introduce a criminal well past his prime.


Read more »

A Latte Of Trouble

Sunday, October 7th, 2012 • Filed under Other Weapons, Robberies

Nothing is quite as necessary to America’s productivity as coffee is. Imagine if we all functioned off of something different. Say, applesauce. Every meeting had an applesauce break, and applesauce machines were a kitchen staple. Reports were turned in dotted with applesauce stains, and everybody had applesauce travel mugs.


Read more »

Cheerio, Good Sir

Sunday, August 26th, 2012 • Filed under Banks, Robberies

If there’s one thing rarer than common sense, it’s common courtesy. Luckily this guy at least has the latter.


Read more »

« Back · More Dumb Criminal Stories »

Criminals by Email

I'll email you every time we post a new dumb criminal.

Sign up!
You'll like it, I promise!

Don't worry &mdash I won't email you about anything else.

Best of the Network

Real Haunted Houses
Who says ghosts aren't real? We have catalogued hundreds of haunted houses.

Dumb Warnings
"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." You won't believe these warnings!