I’m High On…Your Pets
Wednesday, June 22nd, 2011 • Filed under Burglaries, Drugs, Robberies • 1 Comment
At some point in everyone’s life, I’m sure something will happen that will render them completely speechless. Like, they are at a total loss for words to describe the stupidity/strangeness/gross-ness/confusion that just took place. I imagine teachers feel this way a lot…
According to CNN, a young robbery crew in had cleared a house out all out of electronics and jewelry. But they also unknowingly took with them the cremated ashes of the owner’s father and their two dead dogs. Thinking it was cocaine, the five teens began to excitedly snort the ashes. Upon realizing what it actually was, they dumped the remains of the remains into a nearby lake and were later arrested. Kind of a twist on the whole cannibal thing, huh?
Your Mom
Wednesday, June 22nd, 2011 • Filed under Burglaries, Robberies • Comment
It’s kind of awesome (but a little scary) when you suddenly realize that your parents won’t always be around. Like, there’s nobody to stop you from wearing shorts in the middle of January. Then again, there’s nobody to put ‘em in the laundry for you. So you might be stuck wearing those same shorts throughout all four seasons anyway.
But these three Louisiana guys haven’t quite grown up yet, either. They had been robbing a house one afternoon, and everything was going according to plan…until the youngest one (16 years old) got stuck in the attic. Panicked, he immediately called his mother to inform her of his situation. But according to WAFB, it was actually a neighbor who alerted the police of the break-in. Looks like someone’s grounded…
I’m Watching You….No, Like, Really, I Am
Tuesday, June 7th, 2011 • Filed under Caught on tape, Robberies • 1 Comment
You know what’s a major bummer? When the thing you’re stealing tells on you. And apparently, that doesn’t happen just in kidnapping cases.
According to ListVerse, two burglars in Texas decided it would be a brilliant idea to rob a store that sells security cameras. Yup, they were trying to obtain the exact thing that criminals are generally always supposed to stay away from. So basically, it could only go downhill from there. The 17 functioning security cameras in the store caught them in the act of stuffing over ten thousand dollars’ worth of surveillance equipment into some garbage cans. The one mildly impressive thing about this case is that the two men managed to do all that in about a minute and 15 seconds. But that doesn’t make up for the fact that, even though there was one part of the film with their license plate clearly visible (which allowed the police to track their names), they still pled “not guilty” in court.
Okay, So Tell Us How You REALLY Feel
Thursday, May 19th, 2011 • Filed under Guns, Robberies • 2 Comments
So…we all know that embarrassing feeling when you accidentally text the wrong person, usually when saying something ABOUT that exact person. Or when you’re rolling your eyes and gossiping about how horrible Sydney’s eye shadow looks today or how her shoes are so totally knock-offs and her bag isn’t even from the spring collection…and it turns out she’s right behind you. (Note: I apologize if this is introduction is slightly gender-specific.)
Anyway, my point is that these kind of slip-of-the-tongue things are really embarrassing. And in some cases, may even get you in jail. According to Ranker.com, a middle-aged man convicted of robbing a convenience store decided to fire his lawyer and take charge of the case himself. During the store manager’s testimony, he jumped up, accused her of lying, and added the lovely and poetic phrase: “I should’ve blown your (expletive) head off!” Sources say he looked around nervously, and added “…if I’d been the one that was there.” The jury took about twenty minutes to convict him guilty, and the man ended up in jail. With a separate cell for his big mouth.
“You Have My Permission to Ruin Us Financially”
Monday, May 16th, 2011 • Filed under Other Weapons, Robberies • 4 Comments
Credit cards are great, aren’t they? There’s nothing like paying for something without actually paying for it. Especially if it’s those alligator-skin Louis Vuitton high-heeled pumps with the matching belt that you just HAVE to have.
Unfortunately, this Illinois guy won’t be buying any designer footwear anytime soon. According to KMOV, a man had tried to pry open his victim’s door using his credit card. The owner came home, and in the robber’s hurry, he forgot the card next to the door. I’m sure the Joker would be a little disappointed….
Pick-Up Lines Are Usually More Effective…
Tuesday, May 10th, 2011 • Filed under Robberies • Comment
You know, chivalry ISN’T dead. There’s still the occasional guy who will open the door for a lady, offer to carry something, or pull out his girlfriend’s chair (BEFORE she sits on it, not in an attempt to make her fall.) But most members of the male species seem to have forgotten any possible gentlemanliness their ancestors may have once possessed…
According to True Crime Report, this guy might be the most clueless of them all. After he and two other (armed!) men robbed a couple of women outside their apartment, he then proceeded to knock on one of their doors and ask the lucky lady on a date. She called the police instantly, and, needless to say, the robber had to find some other way to spend his Friday night. Suddenly, eHarmony doesn’t seem like such a bad idea after all.
“Streaming, Flaxen, Waxen”
Saturday, May 7th, 2011 • Filed under Caught on tape, Robberies • 1 Comment
Throughout the entirely too large number of incidents involving failed robberies, people have stolen some REALLY weird things. I mean, what can you do with half of a human head, or a giant inflatable chicken? And believe it or not, those are actual occurrences. (So that’s where my Christmas decorations went.)
But it gets grosser…according to CBS, a group of crooks robbed a hair salon and stole thousands of weaves. And for those of you who don’t know, weaves are actual human hair sewn up to make extensions for other people. Security cameras had caught the thieves completely ignoring the cash register, and making away with loads of the most expensive of these things. Well, now we know what San Francisco could possibly change its currency to…
Exactly How The Pilgrims Did It
Tuesday, May 3rd, 2011 • Filed under Robberies • 2 Comments
If you’ve been visiting us for a while, you probably remember the story a while back that involved a very similar situation. So you know the world’s pretty messed up when there are TWO incidents of poultry theft via clothing.