Now To Make A Loooot of Tortillas
Tuesday, January 3rd, 2012 • Filed under Theft • 2 Comments
“I’m really in the mood for corn…fifty-five TONS of it.” Sometimes I wonder exactly how the planning of crimes goes down. They seem more like something you’d see in a videogame, rather than an actual idea out of someone’s actual mind. Then again, the actual minds here don’t amount to much.
One lovely afternoon in Brazil, some thieves decided to go green and steal some corn off of a train. How? According to Huffington Post, they greased the train tracks, and used a tow truck to remove the corn containers as the train slowed down. No word yet on where they’re gonna keep it all…
Hey, I Have One Just Like That!
Wednesday, August 31st, 2011 • Filed under Drugs, Theft • Comment
Note to My Inner Criminal Self: There are some things you just DON’T steal. You’d have to be an idiot to try to make a getaway while lugging a grand piano out the door, as valuable as those things are. And you probably shouldn’t steal anyone’s identity, either. Especially if they’re a male…’cause their ego won’t fit through the door, either.
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Make An Illegal U-Turn
Wednesday, July 20th, 2011 • Filed under Theft • Comment
GPS’s are really something. I mean, who doesn’t want a robot constantly shouting directions…in addition to your family members a.k.a backseat drivers? But I guess it’s worth it, if your GPS has a sexy Australian voice setting. Or a Mr. T setting. Or even…Yoda!
So, why on earth would you want to steal one? These guys didn’t seem to have a problem with it…or with stealing loads of other stuff in their Orlando neighborhood. But something went wrong when the GPS they had took actually allowed the police to track them. (A GPS tracking something? Huh! Fancy that.) Their secret hideout was finally found, completely filled with everything they had stolen. “Going to jail, they are.”
Thanks to Beatrice for this!
God’s Watching The Apples
Friday, June 24th, 2011 • Filed under Caught on tape, Theft • Comment
Sometimes, little kids are right about things…for example, church really IS boring. I mean, you have to sit there and be quiet for a whole hour, and you’re not even watching a movie. Most of the time, the walls and surrounding people suddenly become the most fascinating objects ever to grace your vision, and you’re eventually too preoccupied with such wonders to even listen to what the speaker is going on about.
But at least, in these sort of places, crime is few and far between…unless you’re at this one particular mass. While the rest of the congregation was up receiving communion, a woman was seen (by security cameras) rifling through another woman’s purse. She then got up and left soon after finding what she wanted. According to Houston Press, stealing things in this fashion is surprisingly a habit of hers. So if you find that your credit card had disappeared during church, it’s probably not quite a divine miracle.
But He HAS His License!
Tuesday, April 12th, 2011 • Filed under Cars, Other Weapons, Theft • 1 Comment
As long as I can remember, I’ve always wanted a dog. Or a cat. Or a turtle, a ferret, a hamster, a fish, a hermit crab, a Capuchin monkey, a pony, a lizard, or all of the above. Instead, I wound up with a Webkinz.
Chill, Guys. It’s Not A Facehugger Or Anything…
Wednesday, March 2nd, 2011 • Filed under Theft • 1 Comment
Regardless of the intelligence most of these featured individuals lack, most of them at least possess some sort of common sense, logic, or rationality. This case? Yeah, it changes that.
Just Another Policeman Wannabe
Tuesday, February 8th, 2011 • Filed under Cars, Theft • 2 Comments
Paranoia is a common problem many people deal with. Although it seems like a rather silly condition (“OH my flipping goodness, that creepy, bearded guy across the street won’t stop looking at me…and now his dog is, too! What do they KNOWWW?”), it can be very hard to live with. And nobody knows better than this fellow, featured here on CantonRep.
Lost and Fou–Forcibly Retrieved
Tuesday, February 1st, 2011 • Filed under Theft • 1 Comment
They say Wal-Mart has everything. From freeze-dried biscuits to patio furniture, and occasionally the redneck buying his eighth stick of deodorant for that week. But did you know it’s also the location for very stupid crimes?