Dumb Criminals

U-Ran Over Yourself

Wednesday, April 16th, 2008 • Filed under Uncategorized

A story like this will make you wonder how on Earth it could have possibly happened. That’s simple, he was born.

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Don’t Drink and Drive and Show Up to Work at the Police Station

Thursday, April 10th, 2008 • Filed under Uncategorized

Drunk driving is never a joke. In this case, it’s mildly humorous.

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Crime Doesn’t Pay for Cab Fare

Thursday, April 10th, 2008 • Filed under Uncategorized

With gas prices being the way they are these days, we can understand why this guy chose to take a cab instead of his own car. But this guy can’t use the concern of global warming and deadly CO2 emissions to hide his stupidity.

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I’ll Be Back and So Will the Cops

Saturday, April 5th, 2008 • Filed under Uncategorized

What’s more messed up than a guy who tries to a rob a place and leaves his contact information so he can come back and rob them later? When it happens a second time. Evolution is crying.

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4th Down and Out: A Special Report

Wednesday, April 2nd, 2008 • Filed under Uncategorized

This just in from the DumbCriminals 24-hour news center located at the center of a tiny atom in your mother’s eyebrow: Jacksonville Jaguars defensive back Brian Williams has been arrested.

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Napped in the Closet II

Tuesday, November 27th, 2007 • Filed under Uncategorized

In the words of our illustrious president (who by the way commenters we have the utmost respect for, even if he has the oratory skills of Yogi Berra being beaten repeatedly in the face), “Fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can’t get fooled again.”

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May Cause Streaking

Tuesday, November 13th, 2007 • Filed under Uncategorized

ONE OF LIFE’S LITTLE LESSONS #4: The worst mistake you can make is to repeat yourself. The worst mistake you can make is to repeat yourself. The worst mistake you can make…

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No Ifs, Ands or Butts

Sunday, June 17th, 2007 • Filed under Uncategorized

There’s nothing worse than crime. Wait, there’s nothing worse than a stupid crime. Wait wait, there’s nothing worse than a stupid crime committed by someone with an unfortunate sounding name. Wait wait wait, there’s nothing worse than the death of a pony.

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