Dumb Criminals

Urinalot of Trouble: Update

Thursday, January 11th, 2007 • Filed under Theft, Updates

images20.jpgRarely do we see crimes wrap this easily or this quickly. Let’s face it, when your ousted as a dumb criminal, the last thing you probably want to do is turn yourself. The first thing you’d probably want to do is turn your head inside out with an electric can opener.

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I Will Gladly Sue You Tuesday for a Hamburger Today

Saturday, November 25th, 2006 • Filed under Drugs, Updates

hamburger.jpgAnd now to follow up on a previous story involves two cops, two employees who sprinkled marijuana on their burgers and the fun time they all had together at their friendly neighborhood “Burger King” where you can have it your way (smothered in mayonnaise, bacon, artery clogging goodness and love).

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Wendy’s Old Fashioned Handburgers

Thursday, January 19th, 2006 • Filed under Con-artists, Scams, Updates

Remember the woman in California who faked finding a severed human finger in her chili at Wendy’s? I wonder whatever happened to her? (insert harp flashback music and blur)…

SAN JOSE, California (Reuters) – A couple [Anna Ayala and Jaime Plascencia] who planted a human finger in a bowl of chili at a Wendy’s fast food restaurant was sentenced in California on Wednesday to nine years in prison.

Davila also ordered the couple to pay almost $22 million in restitution but Wendy’s officials indicated to the court they would only seek to collect approximately $170,000, representing the wages lost by employees at the San Jose restaurant where working hours were cut back after a downturn in business.

These “Love Connection” rejects made everyone believe for a solid month that the finger was real before investigators announced it was a fraud. Even though Wendy’s was vindicated, the fingering caused the sharpest decline in their third quarter profits since their deal with Disney to rename the hamburgers in their Kids’ Meal “mouseburgers.”

The judge showed the press just how hooked he was on phonics by saying..

“Greed and avarice overtook this couple and they lost their moral compass,” Judge Edward Davila said of Anna Ayala and her husband Jaime Plascencia in handing down the nine-year sentence.

Wow, nine years in prison for a finger? Even Michael Jackson didn’t even face
nine years for using his finger to…never mind.

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