You Can’t Spell “Terrible Decision Maker” Without A-T-M
Friday, May 29th, 2009 • Filed under Vandalism • 14 Comments
Banks are a huge pain in the ass. Especially these days when they lose your money and are rewarded for their efforts with more of your money. It’s like punishing Jeffrey Dalhmer by taking him out to a steak dinner.
One customer who lost his ATM card in a machine tried to get it back by tossing a brick at it, according to the Nottingham Evening Post.
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Foiled by the Pants…of Justice!
Tuesday, February 17th, 2009 • Filed under Burglaries, Theft, Vandalism • 9 Comments
Once again, a criminal has been foiled not by careful police procedures, the American justice system or the slow bitch goddess that is Karma. Nope, this time, he was foiled by nothing more than a simple pair of pants with a taste for vengeance.
The AP reports that a pair of pants stopped a crook from running from the cops.
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A Pain in the Glass
Monday, February 16th, 2009 • Filed under Cars, Vandalism • 4 Comments
You really shouldn’t even smash the windshield of a police car that is sitting in front of a police station. And if just now you thought the reason you shouldn’t is because it was sitting in front of the police station, seek help immediately.
A homeless man did that (smash a windshield, not get help as far as we know), according to MyFoxDC.com.
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McNabbed
Wednesday, January 21st, 2009 • Filed under Vandalism • 13 Comments
The Super Bowl is almost upon us and you know what that means. Time for some rampant displays of team spirit and sportsmanship through vandalism!
Some Cardinals fans expressed their undying love for their team by trashing Philadelphia Eagles’ QB Donovan McNabb’s yard. One of them also left behind a box with his mailing address still on it, according to the AP.
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Mmmmmm, Doughnuts
Wednesday, November 12th, 2008 • Filed under Vandalism • 2 Comments
Normally, a call involving doughnuts would bring every cop in the hemisphere, but we’re not talking about those rings of happiness.
Someone got caught doing doughnuts in the yard of the courthouse, according to LimaOhio.com.
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A Heavenly Rest
Wednesday, April 30th, 2008 • Filed under Vandalism • 4 Comments
I’ve never understood why anyone would choose to burglarize a church. Don’t they know that God can kick their ass? My priest told me that when I was a kid, it could be true.
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YouRube
Wednesday, February 13th, 2008 • Filed under Vandalism • 18 Comments
I can’t believe it. Not a week has gone by and yet another kid gets himself in hot water for posting a video of himself doing a crime on the Internet. Nation’s schools, I implore you. Either teach these kids of our future generations some common sense or how to operate a fryer. Both will save us a lot of time.
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The Writing’s on the Wall
Thursday, October 11th, 2007 • Filed under Vandalism • 7 Comments
Crimes are always sad, but they’re extra sad when they’re committed by children. It’s like Ray Charles said in “The Blues Brothers,” “It breaks my heart seeing a boy that young going bad.” His heart would have shattered into a million pieces if he read this story and learned some children are going this dumb.
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