Dumb Criminals

A Pain in the Glass

Monday, February 16th, 2009 • Filed under Cars, Vandalism

You really shouldn’t even smash the windshield of a police car that is sitting in front of a police station. And if just now you thought the reason you shouldn’t is because it was sitting in front of the police station, seek help immediately.

A homeless man did that (smash a windshield, not get help as far as we know), according to MyFoxDC.com.

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Wednesday, January 21st, 2009 • Filed under Vandalism

The Super Bowl is almost upon us and you know what that means. Time for some rampant displays of team spirit and sportsmanship through vandalism!

Some Cardinals fans expressed their undying love for their team by trashing Philadelphia Eagles’ QB Donovan McNabb’s yard. One of them also left behind a box with his mailing address still on it, according to the AP.

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Mmmmmm, Doughnuts

Wednesday, November 12th, 2008 • Filed under Vandalism

Normally, a call involving doughnuts would bring every cop in the hemisphere, but we’re not talking about those rings of happiness.

Someone got caught doing doughnuts in the yard of the courthouse, according to LimaOhio.com.

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A Heavenly Rest

Wednesday, April 30th, 2008 • Filed under Vandalism

I’ve never understood why anyone would choose to burglarize a church. Don’t they know that God can kick their ass? My priest told me that when I was a kid, it could be true.

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Wednesday, February 13th, 2008 • Filed under Vandalism

I can’t believe it. Not a week has gone by and yet another kid gets himself in hot water for posting a video of himself doing a crime on the Internet. Nation’s schools, I implore you. Either teach these kids of our future generations some common sense or how to operate a fryer. Both will save us a lot of time.

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The Writing’s on the Wall

Thursday, October 11th, 2007 • Filed under Vandalism

Crimes are always sad, but they’re extra sad when they’re committed by children. It’s like Ray Charles said in “The Blues Brothers,” “It breaks my heart seeing a boy that young going bad.” His heart would have shattered into a million pieces if he read this story and learned some children are going this dumb.

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Mannequin 2: On the Move

Sunday, October 22nd, 2006 • Filed under Other, Vandalism

mannequinsToday in “News that Will Make You Feel Better About Not Having a Sex Life,” we present a Michigan man accused of breaking into store fronts, so he could fulfill his fetish for mannequins — AGAIN.
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It’s in the Brag

Tuesday, September 26th, 2006 • Filed under Vandalism

VandalismWhat’s a dumb criminal’s worst enemy? A clear ski-mask? A mace can that’s turned the wrong way? Batman? Nope, it’s pride.
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