What’s lower than stealing a Beanie Baby? Stealing it from a small child? Stealing it from a dying child? Stealing it from a small, dying child and then punching said child out? How about stealing a Beanie Baby off of a gravesite…

A 43-year-old woman pleaded not guilty to a felony theft charge this week after police arrested her for stealing small stuffed animals from a grave in southern Indiana.

Police said Lucinda J. Jacobs stole two Beanie Babies from St. Matthew’s Cemetery in Posey County, about 20 miles west of Evansville along the Ohio River.

The grave site was under police surveillance after authorities received complaints about items that were missing from the cemetery’s gravesites.

Mount Vernon Police Chief Grant Beloat said officers videotaped Jacobs Saturday as she took the small, collectable stuffed animals. The toys were later found inside the woman’s car.

Dear God, and I thought no one could stoop lower than Kenneth Lay. Well, right now, he’s probably lower than all of us…literally.

Doesn’t a story like that just tug at your heartstrings with the strength of a lounge band bass player? I know it does mine. Oh wait, that’s just gas…