NOT SMART: Stealing Civil War documents from the National Archives. EVEN LESS SMART: Stealing Civil War documents from the National Archives where you work as an intern. EVEN LESS NOT SMARTER: Stealing Civil War documents from the National Archives where you work as an intern and selling them on eBay.

PHILADELPHIA, Pa. (AP) - A 40-year-old intern with the National Archives pleaded guilty Wednesday to stealing 164 Civil War documents, including an official announcement of President Lincoln’s death, and putting most of them up for sale on eBay.

Prosecutors said Denning McTague, who has master’s degrees in history and library science, put about 150 of the documents online and had shipped about half of them.

All but three of the items, worth an estimated $30,000 in all, have since been recovered.

Seriously, people, explain it to me. What is the deal with eBay? Whenever someone calls it “America’s garage sale,” they aren’t paying it a compliment.

He also told investigators that he used a yellow legal pad to sneak the documents out. There goes his application to the CIA.

According to the story, “stolen Civil War-era documents included telegrams concerning the troops’ weaponry, the War Department’s announcement of Lincoln’s death sent to soldiers, and a letter from famed cavalryman James Ewell Brown Stuart.” They also include General Robert E. Lee’s shopping list, General Nathaniel Lyon’s IOU for a box of gingham he purchased in 1857 and Colonel Sanders’ secret recipe for rotisserie chicken.