What a Long, Strange Trip to the Bathroom It’s Been
Thursday, April 6th, 2006 • Filed under Theft
Ahh, who can forget “The Grateful Dead.” Well, me, for one. I know why all of Jerry Bear’s fans were on drugs. That’s the only way you can listen to his music. Chances are the guy who pulled off this little stuff was on drugs too…
SONOMA, Ca. (AP) – The long, strange trip continues for Jerry Garcia’s toilet. Police say the Grateful Dead leader’s commode was stolen recently from a driveway along with three other toilets and a bidet, The Press Democrat newspaper reported Saturday.
Garcia’s salmon-colored toilet was the subject of a legal battle before it was finally moved to Sonoma, to await shipment to a Canadian casino.
It’s unclear if the toilet was swiped by a wayward Deadhead or a thief remodeling a bathroom. Police have no suspects or leads.
First question (other than, “Why wasn’t this guy on his medication?”): if you’re going to break into Jerry Garcia’s house and you have the unique opportunity to take one of his most prized personal collections, why take his toilet? I mean, stealing Elvis’ toilet is crazy, but at least that’s like stealing his deathbed.
But wait, it gets weirder. The owner of Garcia’s former house had actually taken the toilets and the bidet out of the house because he sold them for charity. What crazed Grateful Dead fan would buy Jerry Garcia’s toilet? Oh wait, I just answered my question.
So if you’re out there Mr. Toilet Stealer, do the right thing and return it. The owner promised he’ll trade you your dignity for it.
mitchymonroe says: February 26th, 2009 at 1:08 pm
someone taking the time to write about a toilet thief and put it on the enternet just to make fun of someone is kind of ridiculous. Toilets get stolen all of the time.
Jason Card says: March 30th, 2009 at 10:13 am
Having lived through the 60s to now and never “got” the whole Dead thing. Was born myself till 84′ and I’ve been living the Dead scence ever since I heard the first song and was lucky enough at 11 to hit up the last year of shows with my step-father. But i agree with mitchy who cares about the toilet and why take the time to write about it. What you should be writing about is Gathering of the Vibes 09 and all the loving Deadheads such as myself that will be there.
Killer Cowboy says: May 21st, 2009 at 8:10 pm
**** this ******* yuppie writer jerry lives
Keith says: August 13th, 2009 at 6:07 am
Word to Killer Cowboy. The Dead is the ****. Whoever wrote this should die a horrible death.
itsfuckinggod says: December 16th, 2009 at 8:57 pm
to whomever wrote this article go **** YOURSELF
flair daydream says: February 25th, 2010 at 2:48 pm
the grateful dead is one of the greatest bands of all time. have you ever met a die hard dead head??? there is a reason they have such a devoted fan base (and no its not because of the drugs) . Any true dead fan well tell you that at a dead show its so much than just the music. its about the crowd and the wonderful energy…you just feed off it. its amazing. they interact with the audience and no two dead shows are the same. hell i would want jerry’s toilet. i mean lighten up dude!!! i think it would be ******* hilarious. the fact that you can’t just laugh it off and appreciate the humor or the situation just goes to show that you don’t have that special spark inside of you that ‘just gets it”. get what? i can’t explain it. you go to a dead show and if you get it, then you just get it. there is no need to explain.
thats why the grateful dead has such an awesome, badass, chill fan base. some things can’t be explained to you. in order words you are just lame. you can’t teach someone to be cool.
donniedeadhead says: August 11th, 2010 at 5:35 pm
the dead started the hole jam band thing man. they were pioneers of their time and jerry garcia is perhaps the greatest songwriter of his generation. every piece of music the dead composed or even just improvised on stage had more soul than u ever will. your probably a fan of disturbed or nickelback or some other hot garbage. you suck.
mm says: October 22nd, 2010 at 10:36 am
whats wrong with disturbed?