Chew on This
Thursday, June 8th, 2006 • Filed under Uncategorized
You’ll notice I’ve put an “uncategorized” tab on this story because, quite frankly, I don’t know what the hell to call this. I’m sure “chewing on a police car” is some kind of crime, but it’s just one of those crimes you don’t think any “sane” human being would committ like defrauding a llama out of his retirement investments or impersonating a midget.
BERLIN (Reuters) – A man resisting an order to leave his home became so angry he bit the police car he was being pinned against, German authorities said on Wednesday.
Police tried to eject the 42-year-old man, of Russian origin, after a report of domestic violence. He became aggressive and officers pinned him face down on the bonnet of their patrol car and he began chewing its police markings.
“He was so angry he gnawed at the bonnet and bit through the paintwork,” said a police spokesman in the western city of Bielefeld. “Who knows, perhaps he was hungry too.”
The bonnet would need its markings replacing and a new coat of paint, the spokesman said.
The guy was chewing on a squad car. Not that I’m defending this guy, but what crime did he commit…other than ruining his appetite before dinner?
Part of me wants to put a “drugs” tab on this because only someone who’s super stoned would look at a car and think, “Mmmmm, Daddy wants a slice.”
Naturally, Hollywood wants to make a big screen remake of this guy’s story. Proposed titles include “Bite Club,” “Gnaw the King’s Men” and “That Thing You Chewed!”.
Andrew says: January 29th, 2007 at 10:05 pm
it would be catogrized as defacing of government property or in your case vandalism. but ya if i was gonna vandalise something id use spray paint or somthin not teeth!
jusitn says: March 15th, 2007 at 1:17 pm
so first you say what this should be catoragized under then you say why it shouldnt be that try thinking of something else
Jim says: August 18th, 2008 at 3:26 pm
Dear “Jusitn” (you must have been very excited to tell this guy off if you misspelled your own name),
Go home.
shae says: October 30th, 2009 at 12:01 pm
Andrew I bet you have done something like this before you sure know alot about it and what you would do different.