Dumb Criminals

Ninjas Don’t Bake Pumpkin Pies

Sunday, May 18th, 2014 • Filed under Uncategorized

What if everything you once thought was cool came back to haunt you? Maybe the members of Blink 182 show up at your job interview to remind you of your pop punk phase. Or you accidentally start yelling in Klingon as you and your significant other reach the end of coitus. When I was in middle school, everyone thought wearing fedoras and discussing ninjas was acceptable.

In the worst culmination of past obsessions possible, Florida houses are being ransacked by robbers dressed in ninja costumes. One couple was pulling into the driveway when the costumed criminals ambushed them. According to HP, the victims were tied up and watched as their mansion was emptied. The police say that while the costumes seem whimsical, the robbers  are “elite” and should be feared. Ninjas are dangerous, fedoras are lethal. What else is new?

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